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  At least now I wouldn’t always be the asshole in Gio’s mind, I could tell him the truth of things, then we could both move forward with our lives.

  The only question was, which way would we want to go?

  Chapter Seven

  Gio

  What the hell am I doing?

  Have I gone insane?

  My eyes kept flickering sideways toward Derek, wondering how the night out I didn’t want to go on had ended up like this. I was angry at him, but that magic on the dance floor had somehow managed to dull that. Now I wasn’t sure what I was feeling.

  All I had left was desire. Well, that and love.

  It wasn’t wise, it was incredibly stupid, but how was I supposed to act smart when this was the best I’d felt in a very long time? No one had ever managed to make me feel as good as Derek Tricks had, and it seemed that hadn’t changed with time.

  “Are you okay?” he asked, caution lacing his tongue. “You seem a little… strange.”

  “I feel strange.” There was no point in denying it.

  “But not bad strange. Are you coming in?”

  It didn’t even feel like I needed to ask the question. It was definitely implied, but I felt like I had to make it crystal clear.

  “Erm, yeah sure.”

  As I slid the key into the lock I had no idea what was going to happen next. I had the strong sense that we’d finally have a much more civilized chat about things that’d gone on, but once that was done… Well, anything could happen.

  But it didn’t quite turn out as I planned. As soon as the door swung open I felt Derek’s hands snaking around my waist, and that had my pulse rate flying high.

  He was skipping over the talk, taking the heat from the dance floor and dragging it right back here, leaving me with only one choice.

  Yes, maybe I could’ve turned and walked away, but with the way I was feeling that just didn’t feel plausible.

  I couldn’t move, even if I wanted to… which I didn’t.

  I didn’t want to go anywhere.

  I span, wrapped my hands around his neck, and pressed my mouth up against his.

  My rules for myself all flew away. I didn’t care if Derek would break my heart. It didn’t matter that he’d inevitably run away.

  This moment was too perfect, and it was totally and utterly worth it. The powerful explosions of passion in my stomach were enough to have me forgetting about absolutely everything else.

  “Oh my God,” Derek gasped as he kicked the door shut behind him. “Oh wow, Gio.”

  I kept my hands on his face as I moved backward through the hallway and into my living room so I could stare into his eyes the entire time.

  His gaze was dark with desire. He appeared hungry, like he hadn’t been fed for months but it wasn’t food that he wanted. I was on the platter, and I needed to be devoured.

  Me and Derek had been here before, on more than one occasion, so in a way he was totally familiar to me, but in another way he was completely different. He’d grown, just as I had. Chances were he’d been with other men during our time apart, just as I had too, so we both had new moves under our belt. Maybe that should’ve freaked me out, but actually it just excited me.

  Plus his body was definitely broader, and I couldn’t wait to get a glimpse of that.

  “This is mad,” Derek panted into my mouth. “Absolutely mental.”

  His mouth moved down over my neck and toward my collarbone, and I lost all sense of normality. My legs turned to jelly; I could barely keep my knees steady. I had to grip tightly onto this man just to keep myself upright. It was just lucky that he was strong enough to keep me standing.

  “I know,” I replied, just as breathlessly. “But brilliant too.”

  I tumbled back onto the couch, as the tee shirt was ripped up over my head. I hadn’t really thought about what I was going to wear tonight as I got home from work, I hadn’t realized how the night was going to turn out. It didn’t really matter as it happened, because Derek liked me anyway.

  He smirked happily as my chest was revealed to him. I worked out, I kept myself looking good, and now I was glad for that because the hunger in Derek’s eye was now complete starvation.

  “You too,” I gasped, nodding toward his shirt. “I know Max dressed you up like that, so get it off. It looks weird.”

  “What, so you don’t think I’m ravishing in a penguin suit?” he teased with mock offense. “I’m utterly offended.”

  “Just get it off.” I tugged at the shirt, accidently ripping all the buttons as I did, which he shook off happy to be free of it.

  “Oh Derek, you look incredible.”

  He was buff. His time in the armed forces had sculpted him in a wonderful way. I felt compelled to lean forward and run my hands down over his chest.

  “Just wow.”

  I slowly and tantalizingly slid my hand further down, edging toward where I knew he was aching for me. I could easily recall how he felt in my hand, what it was like to touch him, and now that I was about to go there again, it was obvious that no one else could even come close.

  “You have no idea what you’re doing to me.”

  I dipped my hand in, heading straight toward the underwear. There was no point in holding back when we already had such an extensive history.

  His erection was throbbing; he was so hard I feared he might explode with just one brush. That didn’t stop me from wrapping my fingers tightly around him.

  “Oh my goodness, wow.” I slid my hand up and down, loving the feel of him.

  “Derek, you’re still… everything.” My head fell against his chest and I watched his cock throb as I explored it rapidly. He was reacting needily to me, and I loved every second of that.

  “Stop,” he eventually grabbed onto my hand and yanked it away. “Stop, not yet.”

  Before I could even begin to react, he dropped noisily to his knees and he fiddled frantically with the belt I had wrapped around me. It felt amazing to have him look as animalistic and volatile as I felt.

  We both knew this was insane, but neither of us could help ourselves. I didn’t think anyone was strong enough to resist that kind of adoration.

  Derek’s hands went under my butt, causing me to raise up off the couch. Then he slid my trousers down and tugged on my boxers too, freeing my cock from its material prison. He edged his face ever closer to me until I could feel his breath tickling me. The sensations his warm breaths drove through my body were utterly irresistible.

  “Oh shit, Derek, this is too much.”

  He kissed me, first on my stomach then on my thighs. I felt like he was ignoring the one place where I really wanted him, as if it was his sole mission to drive me insane. His lips brushed against my hyper sensitive skin, and his tongue flickered in odd places. My back was arching in desire, my heart pounding and thumping. My mouth was totally dry now with desire.

  Then he swallowed me.

  He didn’t edge his way in closely, touching his lips against me gently to ease me in, he literally wrapped his lips around me and he sucked me down to the back of his throat, until I almost couldn’t breathe.

  I wanted to scream, to thrash out, to freak out, but I quickly realized that his hands were fixed on my hips keeping me in one place. He had full control of my body, and I actually really liked that. It came in a lot of use when his tongue worked his way over my length focusing far too much on the very sensitive tip.

  I began to tremble.

  Derek was driving me toward the knife-edge of desire too quickly for my liking. I wanted to lose it quickly, but I also wanted to savor every second of this moment.

  My thighs tensed. I gripped on tightly beneath me, and a guttural cry flew out of my chest…

  “Okay, okay.” Derek sounded smug as he pulled back from me leaving me cold and alone. “I don’t want to lose you this quickly, come on.”

  He stood up and held out his hand to me, commanding the whole house despite the fact that it was mine. He was always that way. The atten
tion was always on him which I adored. I needed someone so powerful in my life.

  “Come to my room,” I rasped, grabbing onto his fingers and allowing him to lift me upright.

  “Take me there now.”

  As he walked, his trousers slid right down, which he kicked off as if they were nothing. That left him walking in front of me in only his underwear. His thick muscular thighs walked strong, his butt was tantalizing, his shoulders were drawing me right in. I wanted to bite them.

  “Is this the room?”

  “Yes.”

  I pushed him through the door and smirked brightly as he fell onto the bed. He reached out to grab me, so I fell willingly into his arms. We kissed some more, grabbing on to one another like desperate, needy freaks. That built up the hot pool of bliss even more powerfully in my stomach. I needed him. I desperately wanted to bury myself deep in this man… so I forced myself to yank away just long enough to grab a couple of items out of my nightstand drawer. A condom and a bottle of lube.

  Derek winked at me before pulling his pants down, turning onto his side and presenting himself to me. His smooth butt looked so tempting my mouth was watering all over again. I brushed my fingers over it for a second, allowing my heart to beat faster, before I grabbed the tube and squeezed some of the ice cold liquid into him.

  Then I tore the condom wrapper open with my teeth and I rolled the latex down over myself. Once I was ready for him, I slid in behind Derek, spooning him lovingly. I kissed him over his neck and back, all the while teasing him. I brushed against him, but didn’t totally slide in until he was rasping and gasping needily.

  Once I was fully inside Derek and I thrust at a comfortable rhythm for the both of us, I let my eyes fall closed so I could totally lose myself to the bliss.

  This felt phenomenal. It reminded me of how love was supposed to feel. I hadn’t had anything so wonderful since the last time I was with Derek.

  As the pressure began to build, I felt my head falling apart.

  The bliss was getting to me, softening my brain, turning me into a quivering mess.

  My mouth was open, words were falling out of it, but I had no idea what. All I knew for sure was that the waves were about to start crashing…

  Then they powerfully shook my body, the pleasure exploded from my body, I gave myself over to Derek completely.

  My heart hammered, my body buzzed, and I was barely connected to the Earth. This was the most amazing sensation in the whole world and I never wanted it to end.

  Maybe this wasn’t wise, maybe it was just a physical thing, but I didn’t care. Maybe I just accepted them for what they really were, what they always would be. I loved Derek, so much, and I couldn’t see that ever changing.

  Chapter Eight

  Derek

  I rubbed my eyes hard as the sunlight streamed through the window, taking a second to remember where I was. The bed didn’t feel familiar to me, yet there was something that felt exactly the same about my situation, like I’d been here a million times before. It wasn’t like waking up in Max’s spare bed; it felt kinda right.

  But it wasn’t until I rolled over that I realized how familiar this all was.

  Gio was lying next to me with an expression as peaceful as an angel. Okay so maybe we never spent the whole night together when we were younger, it just hadn’t been feasible, but I had seen him sleeping a few times and he always looked so adorable. His age fell away as I looked at him. It was as if the last few years hadn’t even happened.

  For a moment I propped myself up on my elbow and I just watched him sleep. I basked in the glory of his beauty for a second, just enjoying everything about him, but unfortunately reality crept its way in and I began to recognize the mistake I’d potentially made.

  I loved Gio. That was utterly obvious to me now. I really came back because I still wanted him in my life, which wasn’t really fair on either of us.

  I was a mess. I had to go back to the army soon enough, and his head seemed all over the place, so there wasn’t much hope of us getting anything from this apart from more heartache. It would’ve been better for me to stay the hell away. The limbo I existed in was easier to manage than this.

  I slid out from under the sheets and padded out into the hallway to grab my clothing from where I scattered it on the way in here.

  I wasn’t thinking then. I was driven by lust and the naïve dream that somehow we could make this work. I wasn’t drunk from booze, but I was wasted on Gio. I hadn’t been thinking straight and now I was going to have to pay the consequences of that.

  As I pulled my trousers back up, ice-cold guilt flooded me.

  What the hell was wrong with me?

  Why did I have to act before we’d had any sort of talk?

  If this was really going to happen, it should’ve been in a smart way. I should have said my piece and heard out his, then we could’ve both made an adult choice together.

  “Fucking hell, Derek,” I cursed myself while slapping my palm against my forehead.

  “Idiot!”

  Once I was fully dressed, I made my way toward the front door to make my escape. I didn’t fully shut the door behind me because I wasn’t running away, not this time. I would never do that again. I just needed some sensible advice before I did something idiotic.

  Ring, ring… Ring, ring…

  “Come on, answer Max,” I hissed quietly. I didn’t want Gio to wake up and find me gone. “Come on, Max, I need you.”

  “Hello?” he eventually answered sleepily.

  “Derek, what’s going on? It’s like the middle of the night or something.”

  “It’s seven in the morning,” I chuckled as I glanced at my watch. “Don’t be so lazy.”

  “What’s wrong?” He sharply reminded me of why I was calling him.

  Of course, this wasn’t just a simple chat. I had something important that I needed to know more about.

  “Oh right, well things got very heated between me and Gio last night…” I cringed as I said those words, realizing how awkward I was making it all sound. It wasn’t just a physical thing; we were connected on a much deeper level.

  “Heated in what way? Did you fall out or something?” Luckily Max focused on the wrong thing.

  “Erm, no the other way actually.”

  “Ooh, you hooked up? What does that mean?” He sounded excited and a little bit scared, a bit like how I felt actually.

  “That’s where I’m stuck.”

  The silence that rang out from the other end of the phone was crippling. It was clear that Max thought this was my problem to sort out. No one could dictate what happened next for me, and I had to make that choice for myself.

  I was going to have to decide if Gio lay in my future or not. No one else could do that for me.

  “Oh God, I’m sorry I called you, Max. I’ve dragged you into this mess enough. I have to go. I need to talk to Gio.”

  “Yeah I think that would be for the best. I’ll speak to you soon, okay?”

  As Max hung up, I bashed my phone against my forehead feeling stupid and idiotic. I wasn’t in school anymore, yet here I was acting like a kid, totally unsure of myself.

  Why did an adult conversation have to be so damn hard for me? The teenage me was so much more together than who I was now… where was that confidence now?

  I made my way back inside Gio’s apartment, clicking the door quietly behind me, then I flicked the kettle on to make him a coffee. With this drink, we would finally have the talk that we so desperately needed, so what I needed to do was properly gear myself up for it so I didn’t mess it up like I did last time.

  But instead of planning what I wanted to say, my brain was transported into the past once more, to the last day of school before the summer of a lifetime… or the one that was supposed to be that anyway.

  We were going to enjoy the sun, the freedom, the last time that we were all together before going our separate ways. It was going to be magical.

  Me and Gio were out on the schoo
l field, where they’d allowed us to hang out for the afternoon because we weren’t getting any work done anyway, and we were lay in the grass staring up at the bright, sunny sky. I felt light and airy, like I could take off and float away at any given moment. It was such a perfect time.

  “This is crazy, isn’t it?” Gio said happily to me. “The last day of school. The first day of the rest of our lives.”

  I clutched onto the flyers they’d given out at the careers fair, the one they’d put on for those who didn’t know what they were going to do with their future, or who felt like they’d screwed up their exams. I’d only gone just in case, and to get me out of morning classes, but as I flicked through the info for the armed forces, I felt like maybe… just maybe in another life that was what I could do with myself.

  It was only a hypothetical thought, not one that I expected to have to follow through on. My future lay with the boy right by my side. He was the one for me, whatever else came around that didn’t really matter.

  “It’ll be alright,” I reassured him, gently squeezing his hand. “At least we’ll have each other.”

  “Yeah, we will. And soon we’ll find out what college we got into, or if we need to find some awesome jobs. But none of it will matter because we’ll be together.”

  That day was going to be massive for me and Gio, but not in the way that either of us wanted. It ended up with me running away, breaking things off with him without even wanting to. If only I’d been braver, our story could’ve had a much nicer ending.

  “I love you, and you know I always will.” He turned to face me, staring into my eyes as if I was the best thing on the planet.

  “Me too. I love you more than anything in the world.” I felt like we had what everyone else in the world wanted. It was so damn wonderful it brought tears to my eyes.

  Anyway, there was no point in worrying too much about that now. I’d fucked up badly, but I could make it right if I tried really hard. I wasn’t sure that we could ever really be, but it didn’t have to be awful anymore. It could be… Well, it could be something.