Lost Love Page 18

  No, not just alongside him, under him, as his assistant. As the person he came to when he needed anything done, as the man who organized his schedule, basically followed him around doing everything he wanted.

  We’d be close. We’d have to be under each other’s feet every single minute of every single day. It’d be torture. I’d have to look at him completely differently. I’d have to push all of my feelings to one side, to make everything professional. After seeing him once more, feeling everything from that night come rushing back, it didn’t seem like that was going to be possible. He made me feel things that I hadn’t in a very long time.

  Ring, ring...

  My heart leaped up into my throat as my phone blasted out, shaking me to my core. It couldn’t be, not already, could it? It wasn’t going to be the lady from Ringer Enterprises already. I’d only just had my interview a few hours ago. They wouldn’t have made a choice yet, would they? Surely that sort of thing took time?

  Ring, ring...

  But it was a number that I didn’t recognize, and I didn’t usually get calls. So maybe it had to be? I couldn’t just ignore it. I had to know either way. I’d regret it otherwise.

  Ring, ring...

  My heart thundered painfully in my chest, my fingers trembled with emotion, and my mouth ran cotton dry with utter dread. Half of me didn’t want to answer, to just forget that I’d ever set foot in that damn building, but the bigger half of me was intrigued. This was my dream after all. I had actually worked hard towards it. It was the only thing I’d cared for before. Could I really give that up?

  And maybe I wanted to see more of Alex too, however difficult it’d be. I wasn’t sure what it was about him, but I really felt something between us, something that was virtually impossible to ignore.

  “Hello?” I answered shakily. “Jon Morris.” I wasn’t sure why I was answering the phone that way, only that I’d heard important looking business men doing so on the subway. If this was going to be about the job position, then I wanted to come across in the best way possible.

  “Hi, Mr. Morris, it’s Monica here from Ringer Enterprises.” Shit, this was really happening, I was actually getting a call. I flopped backward, needing something to support me, but instead of my butt hitting the couch I found the hard floor instead. I had to bite down hard on my lip to stop the pain from spilling out in a yell. “I would just like to say congratulations. You’ve been offered the job.”

  “I... I have?” Before when I was thinking about the problem, trying to decide what I was going to do, it was hypothetical. The fact that it was now real made my blood run cold. “Thank you.”

  I found my fingers clawing at the ground beneath me, just wishing that I could find something to hold onto, something solid and real, but I was finding nothing.

  “So, we’d need you to come in to do some paperwork, but since Mr. Kale needs you to begin right away, you could do it on your start date... Monday, if that suits?”

  Right away... what did that mean? Did Alex interfere? Did he get me the job? Why? Why would he do that? What did he want? Surely he could have just asked me out if he wanted to?

  This should have been the best news ever. I should’ve been swinging from the ceiling about it, but all I felt was torn. There were so many pros and now cons to this position, and I didn’t know what to do. Knowing that I had to begin working right away left me with no time to think either. I needed to make a decision right away. If I didn’t take it now, a chance this good was never going to come round again.

  “Mr. Morris, are you there?” She sounded confused, like I’d been silent for far too long, which was possible in the shocked state I was in. Professionalism had gone right out of the window!

  “I am,” I stammered, tapping my fingers noisily against the ground. “I’ll do it, thank you. I’ll see you Monday.”

  I spoke so quickly and hung up the phone before I could talk myself out of it. This was going to be hard. There was no denying that much, but it was also the first work that I’d ever really wanted. I needed the position to pay for this apartment by myself until I managed to find another roommate. I honestly couldn’t see it happening anytime soon. I didn’t love the idea of someone else being here all the time because it’d never be the same. I loved the idea of working there. It was the first goal that I’d ever really needed to achieve.

  God I wanted it so badly.

  Damn it, I was going to have to just get over myself. I was going to have to be an adult about it. So, me and Alex hooked up once and it’d be a little strange. I still felt things for him, but that didn’t have to get in the way of my career. Plenty of people did this on a daily basis... probably. I could too.

  Okay, so it didn’t help that my love life had been incredibly stale recently, that I hadn’t managed to find anyone other than Alex that actually got my engine revving, but that didn’t have to distract me. I’d just had a crappy breakup last year when I caught Simon cheating on me with my close friend Brad six months into us dating. It’d made me want more from my next relationship, and had caused me to become fussy, that was all. It was nothing to be worried about. It didn’t mean that I had to focus in so strongly on how Alex made me feel.

  Someone else would come along to take my mind right off Alex eventually. I just had to grit my teeth and get on with it until then. If I just focused on the games surrounding me, on the opportunity Ringer Enterprises offered me, I could do that, couldn’t I?

  A smile burst over my face as determination surged through my veins. I would focus on the job, not the guy. Simple. He would just be another cog in the machine, nothing to concentrate on. Just another employee, working in the same company as me. I would forget all about our history and concentrate on the present. I could do that; I was sure of it.

  It would be fine. It had to be. I didn’t have any choice. It was this or live with the nose sniffer who rang up about the apartment, and there was no way in hell I could live with that guy. He already drove me crazy and we hadn’t even met yet. No, this option was definitely the preferable one.

  Chapter Four

  Alex

  “That’s great, thank you,” I slid the report out from Jon’s fingers, trying to ignore the electricity as our skin brushed together. It was intense, but as long as I didn’t visibly jump everything would be okay. “It’s good to have someone who knows what they’re doing around here.”

  In that respect, I’d done a really great thing by interfering and ensuring Jon got the job. He really did make my job a whole lot easier. He was smart, switched on, and just got things done. He did all the things I’d been hoping would happen when I suggested to Raymond that I get an assistant. But the chemistry was overwhelming. It was making things really difficult, and much as I should have known that was going to happen, I didn’t expect it to be this much.

  It was him. Everything about him was great. He was exactly the sort of person that I wanted in my life, and stupidly I’d hired him rather than asking him out. If I’d taken the other choice, we could be kissing, instead of suffering the intolerable sexual tension between us. I could be taking him back to bed, rather than worrying whether or not I was acting appropriately.

  “So, did you want me to get the numbers from Geoff? That way I can draw up a full report for the client meeting you have tomorrow morning?”

  Who the hell was Geoff? How had Jon managed to get to know everyone before me when I’d been here for weeks longer? I suppose I hadn’t really bothered, but still...

  “Yep, that would be wonderful,” God, did he have to look so incredibly handsome in a suit? It was hard to even look at him without revealing to the world that he made my heart flutter with excitement. “After that, would you like to test a new game that’s just been sent in? I’ve had some feedback from the usual team, but it’s really bland. What I’d like is a fresh perspective.”

  If there was one thing I’d noticed about Jon during his week working with me, it was that he was enthusiastic and knowledgeable about the industry. To
be honest, he shouldn’t have been working as my assistant. He should’ve been much higher up. Maybe eventually that’d happen and everything would be easier. When we weren’t working so closely together, maybe the chemistry would dull... or we could actually do something about it.

  “Really?” his face lit up with excitement. “That would be awesome, thank you.”

  “So, you like games?” I asked a little lamely, feeling weird about not really knowing much about him. We’d shared this really intimate experience. I knew a lot about how he liked to be touched, but I didn’t know anything about his hobbies.

  “Oh I do. I’ve always been a big gamer, which is why I wanted to work at Ringer Enterprises in the first place.” He grew increasingly animated with every single word, and as his face lit up my heart went out to him more and more. Damn it, I liked him so much. “I’ve always admired what Mr. Raymond did.”

  “He’s a great guy,” I replied warmly. “He’s great at talking. That’s how he managed to convince me to leave the job I loved in banking to come here.”

  “Wow,” Jon nodded along, looking like he had a million and one questions floating through his mind, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he was going to ask any of them. But he seemed to think better of it at the last minute, and he zipped his lips tightly shut.

  ***

  “Wow, this game is great for the eighteen to thirty market!” Jon gasped excitedly as he shot through the levels at the speed of light. I didn’t know too much about the industry myself, but Raymond had assured me that wouldn’t matter. He told me that he’d headhunted me for my people management skills, nothing more.

  I hadn’t really felt like I was at a disadvantage until now. “You think so?” I asked curiously. “The other guys told me it was definitely a teen game.”

  Jon curled up his lips, pausing thoughtfully. I got the impression he was trying to word his next statement in a way that didn’t offend anyone. I didn’t care what he said. I was much more inclined to believe him because it didn’t seem like the current staff had any clue. Things ran much more smoothly when Raymond was here, but now that he had a lot of international business taking his attention, it was clear that things had started to slide.

  “I just think that people focus too much on teens. They forget that the older generation has grown up with games too. Plus they have more control over their disposable income.”

  “You’re right,” I nodded, totally seeing his point of view. “I think you’re right. I think the whole market research department focuses mainly on the age group around them. I think we do need to expand. Would you...” was I overstepping a mark here? Possibly, but I couldn’t stop myself. “Would you like to talk to the public relations department about the new advertising campaign? Give them some ideas?”

  “Really?” he grabbed onto my arm and stared deeply into my eyes. In that moment I knew I’d done something crazy, that I’d given him preferential treatment, but I didn’t care. “Oh my God, that would be awesome. I knew this would be a good move for me.”

  I didn’t know exactly what he meant by that, but I wasn’t sure I could ask either. This was such a complicated territory to navigate. I wasn’t ever sure what the right move was, but somehow we were managing to get through it. Maybe this wouldn’t be so hard after all...

  But then he leaned forwards, his eyes glazed over almost as if he wasn’t really sure what he was doing himself, and he pulled me in for a hug. “Th... thank you,” he stammered, but I could barely hear his words. My heart was pounding heavily, and I could feel his doing the same. It would only take one of us to pull back, a slight cock of the head, and we’d be kissing all over again...

  “Right,” I stepped back sharply, creating a noticeable distance between us. “I think it’s time for your lunch break, right?” I couldn’t even look at him, my eyes were all over the place. I probably looked insane. “So once you’re back we’ll go and talk to the design team, go from there.”

  He might have been disappointed, but we needed to keep the lines visible. We had to be constantly aware of them and if one of us got sucked in, the other needed to step back, to be the smart one. This was just my turn; hopefully Jon could do the same. It didn’t help that I had no idea how deep his feelings ran.

  I slumped down at my desk, throwing my head into my hands, trying to get my breathing back to normal. I’d just have to get this department in order quickly, then I could move Jon elsewhere. Without him with me every single day, it had to get easier, surely? Maybe it was time for me to try and meet someone else – not that I ever liked to actively do that, I preferred things to happen naturally. I liked fate to intervene – but I wasn’t sure anyone could compare.

  Chapter Five

  Jon

  As I worked alongside the design team, I felt like I was on top of the Earth. This had to be the best job in the world. I couldn’t believe how lucky I’d gotten. How had I managed to walk into a job as an assistant, and end up testing games and helping to sort out the new advertising company? It was incredible; better than I’d ever hoped for.

  Well, I did know... it was Alex. He’d been wonderful to me, and I owed him everything. It was still difficult, that much was obvious. We constantly had to walk on eggshells around one another, but with all the great stuff that was happening it was easy to overlook it for now. I had plenty of distractions to claim my mind.

  “That’s great,” Heather practically purred at me. “You know, if you ever get tired of being an assistant you should come and work for us. We need some fresh eyes like yours; it’s gotten a little stale here of late.” I couldn’t tell if she was flirting with me, or if she was just really friendly, but I really hoped they weren’t words she was just saying. “Your ideas are great.”

  “I would love that...” I half considered leaving Alex now, to jump up the ladder while the chance was there, but I felt so guilty for leaving him now after all that he’d done for me. “Maybe I could come and pitch in sometimes, when I’m not too busy.” The more departments I got involved with, the closer my dream of designing my own game became a reality. I would never tell anyone about it, not until it was done, but I could secretly work towards it nonetheless.

  “Sounds great! But I suppose you’ll be busy for a while. The personal assistants usually get roped in to organizing the company Christmas party... and since you’re the newbie,” she shrugged her shoulders at me, finishing the sentence with her body language rather than words.

  It was November. Christmas was approaching fast, so it made sense that there would be some sort of party, but I wasn’t sure I could sort it out alone. And why hadn’t Alex mentioned it to me? Was he hoping it’d be a nice surprise? Did he not know enough about me to know that would be a nightmare to me?

  “Oh God. Really?” I leaned in closer to Heather, speaking quietly so only she could hear. “What sort of things do you normally do? Just so if that job is thrown at me I don’t end up sorting out something lame.”

  “Oh, you aren’t a party planner in your spare time?” she teased. “Well, I can always help you, but we usually have a party somewhere out of the city so you’ll need to book a hotel and stuff.”

  “Okay,” I tried not to groan at the idea of it all. It was all so much! “Well I’ve had such a good time here. I suppose I can take this one hit.”

  Heather chuckled, “well, please let me know if you’re struggling. I’ll make sure it’s badass. I live for the Christmas party.”

  “Thank you,” I knew there was a big chance I’d need her. “I suppose I better go back to Alex in a minute. I can ask him what he knows about it all.”

  As I wandered back into Alex’s office, I could instantly tell from his furrowed eyebrows and turned down mouth that whoever he was talking to on the phone was winding him up. I was getting more used to his physical cues, which made it that much easier to work alongside him. I remained outside the door, peering through the glass until he was ready to see me. One thing I knew about being an assistant was that I need
ed to know when I was wanted or not wanted.

  He slammed the phone down, anger plastered across his face, but I unclicked the door to go inside anyway. Everyone seemed to annoy him here, especially with their incompetence, but for some reason – or for reasons I was trying not think about – I seemed to be immune to that.

  “Is everything alright?” I kept my tone as casual as I could manage. “Anything I can do to help?”

  “No,” he sighed sadly, shaking his head. “No, it isn’t work stuff. It’s family stuff.” A pregnant pause filled the air. I didn’t know what to say. We were more than just work colleagues really, because as much as we tried to ignore it, we did have a past. However, we weren’t exactly friends either. We’d never talked about anything personal before, and I wasn’t sure if he wanted me to ask now. “Sorry, I shouldn’t bring this up at work. It’s just... hard, you know. Being so far away.”

  I sat down at his desk, and eyed him curiously. “You know, you can talk to me... if you want to?” That way I left the choice up to him, and thankfully he took it because the curiosity might have killed me. All I wanted was to know more about Alex and his life.

  “Well, part of the reason I took this job was because my father got fired. I loved my job at home. I adored my apartment, and I was really content with my life. But the offer came at the right time, so I took it and I’ve been sending my family money ever since.”

  “So, what’s the issue?” Was I being dumb? I really didn’t get it. It seemed annoying more than anything else.

  “They’re still having their home threatened, and when I’m not there I can’t quite figure out what’s going wrong. It’s so frustrating.”